How to deal with FEAR in 4 Steps

Wed Apr 19, 2023

They say courage is doing things afraid.

We are scared AND we can do things regardless. Here is how.

The job of our limbic brain is to keep us safe. Anything that goes beyond the currently known in our life will be perceived as real danger and gets rejected - as we had a 100% survival rate so far. Hence the status quo is more certain than uncertainty which is why most people deal very badly with changes and the unknown.

Reality is rarely what our mind makes it out to be.

All that fear really does is saying: 'Stop, Pay attention, and Take appropriate action!' -

very much like the red signal at a traffic light. Most slow down and stop, some rush ahead regardless. But we all do have to pay attention to it.

If we manage to work through this natural fear signal response to real or perceived danger, we can literally do anything we set our mind to.

How to deal with fear in four steps:

1. Fear ignites an immediate flight, freeze, numb, or attack response in our body.

First we need to calm down our nervous system and body response in order to be able to think clearly.

Take 3 minutes and do below breathing exercise (link). It is very effective and helpful.

Research has shown that it instantly changes the brain's reaction even in highly stressful situations, creating the head space to take proper decisions and then rational actions.
It is recommended to train this small exercise in calmer times so our body remembers it in the challenging ones. The body response becomes faster if it is ingrained in our habits.

How to do the breathing exercise:

2. Fear is a life saviour and a signal that things are off and need our full attention right now. That's it.

Consciously remind yourself:

It is extremely rare for most of us to be in a potentially lethal situation.

As long as we breathe and not threatened in our very existence, we are ok in that very moment of fear. Take a few deep breaths!
We can sort things out step by step.

3. Fear is an important signal that things need to be taken care of asap.

Take massive action - we learn and grow as we face and tackle our situation STEP BY STEP - remember that we only have to make it through the next five minutes, one decision at a time, and then the next,.... and so on until completion of the situation.

We might not always be able to change the triggering external situations in that very moment, but we can change how we react to them and plan our further actions, changing our thinking from victim to victor.

No one wants to be at the whim of emotions when stakes are high - especially not in a life or death situation should it ever occur.

4. Take charge of your own situation and rise above the challenge.

Seek help, knowledge, and support where needed - asking for help is a great strength, not a weakness.

After we experience fear, it is highly important to release the pent up adrenaline and other chemicals in the body that prepared us for the stress response.

Otherwise, extended high level stress situations can lead to diseases and disruptions in the body.

Take care of your health. Prolonged fear may turn into anxiety which is a whole different topic.

Do sports, go for a walk and ground yourself to direct the pent up stressful energy visually and physically into the ground. Eat healthy, meditate, avoid drugs and otherwise numbing substances as they greatly backfire, and talk to someone who gets it. Work with a trauma therapist if necessary.

It is no bravery to fight inner turmoil on our own but highly inefficient, hindering personal progress in life. Take it as a chance to work through fears and trauma responses to overcome them.

"Everything you want is on the other side of fear." Jack Canfield

Keeping our mind and our steady focus on the best possible outcome is a key component for reaching success.

Best wishes,

Sharesz T. Wilkinson

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